Wasted

I just yanked your bottom bracket from the Monkey. Did you put Frame Saver in it? That thing is rustyyyyy. Your bottom bracket is roached. Your crank is roached. I haven't taken apart your SISS yet, but I have a feeling that bottom bracket is roached also. Pads don't last long, especially when riding in the wet and muddy stuff. I should report you to Larry Cautilli! You didn't tighten your pedals to the cranks enough. It was working itself loose. Put it on tighter next time! Your chain is on its last legs. It's tired and ready to be put down to sleep.

Bottom line: you have to stop spending time with your family and dog, and spend more time on your bikes! Ask yourself, "What is my priority? Do I want to be a racer for the ages? Do I want the Pinoy community to be well represented? Why am I wearing a dress?"

The words tear at my soul as I read the email from rickyd. I'm a bad parent; I've neglected my bike and let it fall into disrepair. It will grow up hating me. When I ride it to the trailhead, it will look around at all the nice bikes and wonder, "why am I not loved?" Soon it will start hanging out with other neglected bikes who will give it hallucinogenic lube and other illegal substances. It will start off innocently enough, but it's all downhill from there. It will turn into a lube addict. It will break into my house and steal my TV to get money for lube. Then, when it's too weak and drugged out to steal, it will whore itself out for "the lube" and fall victim to the pimp bikes. I'll be wandering the red light trails hopelessly searching for my bike. "Surrleeeeeey!" I'll cry out in desperation. But I'll hear nothing but the distant turning of squeaky cranks in the stillness of this desolate bike wasteland...